To Eat Phlegm for the Love of God

Recently, I remembered a pericope of the Desert Fathers that stunned me as a horrible and wonderful example of self-control, and of love. From Benedicta Ward's compilation of The Desert Fathers: Sayings of the Early Christian Monks, On Self Control, no. 70:

At a meeting of the brothers in Scetis, they were eating dates. One of them, who was ill from excessive fasting, brought up some phlegm in a fit of coughing, and unintentionally it fell on another of the brothers. The brother was tempted by an evil thought and felt driven to say, 'Be quiet, and do not spit on me.' So to tame himself and restrain his own angry thought he picked up what had been spat and put it in his mouth and swallowed it. Then he began to say to himself: 'If you say to your brother what will sadden him, you will have to eat what nauseates you.'

I am a man weak in spiritual discipline.

At an RCIA meeting last night, we discussed the approaching season of Lent as it relates to the stage of the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults entitled, Purification and Enlightenment. It is a time of internal scrutiny, penance, prayer, fasting, and discipline - all in an effort to prepare the catechumens and candidates to receive the sacraments. Each of our weekly sessions will be orchestrated towards cultivating our sense of the Passover, the paschal mystery of the passion, the meaning and magnitude of Christ's journey to Golgotha, his love, suffering, self sacrifice, and thanksgiving.

I suggested that we strongly encourage the candidates and catechumens to fast during Lent, and to fast seriously. They should be encouraged to take on real deprivation in order to share in suffering, to hunger - physically - for the Feast of the Resurrection, and to foster the seeds of discipline in their Christian youth so that it can grow into a felicitous strength for their future lives as heirs to the Kingdom. And I suggested that we, the RCIA team, should do likewise.

My fellow RCIA facilitators, all orthodox and devoted Catholics, agreed that fasting is a valuable spiritual exercise, but made many, vigorous arguments against being too encouraging on the subject. To be fair, I think that my wording may have made it seem like I would demand of the Catechumens that they fast, and that would be wrong. And my friends pointed out that, according to the definitions published by the Canadian Council of Catholic Bishops, fasting includes not only abstaining from food, but from other good and natural activities, and from increased devotional or charitable deeds. And they make a valuable point.

The most important thing in the fasting, however, is the act of deprivation, of taking from the self for the sake of God, and of conditioning our souls, minds, and bodies to be true and faithful servants of Christ, in all circumstances. We are to train like athletes for spiritual fitness, and works of discipline are our exercise.

So to tame himself and restrain his own angry thought he picked up what had been spat and put it in his mouth and swallowed it.

It is horribly disgusting. It is a profound act of love, discipline, and sacrifice.

Would that we all might condescend to eat phlegm for the love of God.